Children with high emotional intelligence have the tools they need to navigate their feelings and relationships in healthy and safe ways. Key components include self-awareness, self-regulation, and motivation. Surprisingly, however, the thing that is most overlooked is empathy.
Parents of the most emotionally intelligent children set an example and teach their children the 4 skills of empathy from a young age. Anything? Come on, find out below as reported by CNBC.
1. Take a Different Perspective
Illustration/Freepik.com/bristekjegor
Perspective taking does not mean having the same experience as another person or deciding whether their experience is real. When a child tugs at his shirt and says, “It’s itchy, I don’t like it. I want a different shirt,” we can model perspective taking by believing they are right.
It’s not the parent’s job to reassure them that the clothes are really comfortable and remind them that they have worn those clothes before. A parent’s job is to step outside themselves and be a witness to their child’s experiences.
2. Avoid Judgment
Experts Reveal These Skills of Children with High Emotional Intelligence Are Most Often Overlooked/Photo: Freepik.com/sherry
Avoiding judgment means practicing awareness of our biases and self-regulation so that we can view children’s experiences without using biased lenses.
So instead of responding with, “You don’t need to be so upset. It’s just a shirt. We can fix it,” it would be better to respond with, “You’re really upset because this is so inconvenient.”
3. Recognize Emotions
Illustration/Photo: Freepik.com/senivpetro
Recognizing emotions means connecting with what children feel, not why they feel it. So, when your child comes to you upset, take a moment to say out loud what they are feeling.
Then remember and share when we encounter the emotions they express, so we can connect with them about how it feels. This teaches them that if they know what disappointment feels like, they can choose to empathize with that feeling.
4. Communicate Understanding
Experts Reveal These Skills of Children with High Emotional Intelligence are Most Often Overlooked/Photo: Freepik.com/v.ivash
Communicating our understanding of emotions is when connection occurs, we have the opportunity to say it. For example, when we tell our friends that we feel tired and our friends feel our pain because they really listen, this can be called communicating understanding.
When children see parents doing this for loved ones, they absorb valuable lessons about how to be better friends and community members.
Teaching Empathy by Example
Illustration/Photo: Freepik.com/bristekjegor
Just as we build self-regulation skills by co-organizing with children, we also teach emotional intelligence by responding to children with empathy. Connect with your child and imagine what messages might be behind their behavior.
Trust that they are good human beings and allow them to make mistakes. When we do this, we teach them that our love for them is conditional.
And remember to stop spoiling your children too often for reasons of love. Because the less parents pamper their children, the faster the child will develop into an independent person.
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