There are over 8 million people in New York City, but lasting romantic relationships are still hard to come by.
For that reason, singles in the city have abandoned dating apps and opted to socialize in person through activities such as running clubs, book reading groups, and singles meetups.
In the early 2010s, dating apps like Tinder and Hinge became a popular way to meet potential partners, and while they have produced many successful love stories, many singles in New York City are starting to get tired of the apps.
“I think there’s a general disillusionment with dating apps. They’re an option, but maybe not the best option,” said Kathryn Coduto, an assistant professor of media studies at Boston University and a dating researcher.
“Face-to-face meetings, perhaps in a group, where there is a shared interest, allow people to connect directly and have initial conversations without the phone as an intermediary,” he concluded.
Dating app fatigue coupled with COVID-19 isolation over the past few years has contributed to a growing trend of in-person social events. According to Eventbrite, in-person dating events in the United States are set to see a 42% increase in attendance from 2022 to 2023.
Amber Soletti, founder of live singles dating company Single and the City, has also seen this trend, noting that her business saw a 67% increase in attendance from last year.
“People are experiencing this app fatigue, this swiping fatigue,” Soletti said. “They are ready to get back to in-person events and authentic connections with people in real life.
A similar goal is shared by the viral Lunge Run Club, a Manhattan-based running club aimed at singles looking for love.
Founded earlier this year by Steve Cole and Rachael Lansing, the club meets every Wednesday in Manhattan for a five-kilometer run followed by drinks at a bar. The Lunge Run Club started with just 30 people and has since taken the city by storm, drawing hundreds of participants each week.
The club encourages people to wear black if single and colored clothing if coupled up, in hopes of taking the mystery and fear out of in-person dating.
“People have always used running clubs or recreational sports, like that, as a way to meet other people,” Lansing said.
“We kind of took the mask off, I'm going to go and maybe I'm going to meet someone and now maybe have a goal, 'I'm going to show up. I'm going to wear all black. I'm going to say I'm single. I want to meet either a good friend or someone special,'” he added.
Lunge Run Club is not alone in its mission, but is part of a movement of people looking for connections in one of the world’s largest cities. Soletti’s Single and the City hosts speed dating events and meetups for singles focused on shared interests, hobbies, or even physical characteristics like height.
“Having something in common is a great starting point for a relationship, and that can be a friendship, but it can also be a romantic relationship,” Coduto said. “It makes sense if you have something in common with someone, because there’s something to talk about,” she said.
While Lunge Run Club and Single and the City are specifically marketed as dating activities, other events are more focused on facilitating community in general.
In June 2023, Ben Bradbury, Tom Worcester, Charlotte Jackson and John Lifrieri founded Reading Rhytims, a “reading party,” where people meet in various places to read and socialize, helping people build community, friendships and more.
Bradbury explains how face-to-face interactions, like those at Reading Rhythms, can facilitate relationships in ways that can't always be replicated online.
“Authentic connection, you can’t fake it when you’re in a place. It’s either authentic or it’s not,” Bradbury said. “I think people are really enjoying that, the feeling of being with people, and remembering what it feels like to connect in person. I think people really want that right now,” he said.
While not advertised as a place to find romantic love, Reading Rhythms has seen similar support and engagement as the Lunge Run Club and Single and the City events, which have hosted over 120 parties with 7,500 readers seeking these immediate connections through shared interests.
“It’s hard to feel someone’s energy when you only see them online. I think with social media today, and curating our online presence, you can see a layer of someone,” says Nikki D’Ambrosio, host and longtime Reading Rhythms participant.
“What I love about Reading Rhythms is that it’s not just, ‘Hi, my name is Nikki and this is the book I’m reading.’ It really goes deeper,” she explains.
From running to reading to speed dating, people are craving instant connections – and New York City has plenty of opportunities to offer. (th/lt)
