5 Parenting Styles Can Make Children Insecure, Here’s How to Overcome It

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Unknowingly, there are several parenting styles that cause insecure children by parents. The effect is that children are not confident when they are on the move. Hmm, have you ever done that too?

Quoted from Raising Children, when children feel inferior they tend to dislike themselves. It could be that children also feel worthless, don’t believe in themselves, and are unsure of everything around them.

Even though self-confidence is very important for the ‘provision’ for the development of children, including for:

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Trying new things Getting back up when things don’t go according to plan Doing things children might not normally like Facing challenges

When children dare to try new things, face challenges and bounce back, they learn and grow mentally. This is why self-consciousness can hinder a child’s development.

Parenting style causes insecure children

A warm and loving relationship with family, especially parents, is one of the foundations for building children’s self-confidence. Because with this, children feel valued.

For example, parents can provide more responsive and caring interactions with their children. Even so, there are several other parenting styles that cause insecure children that parents need to avoid, including such as:

1. Overprotective

Protecting children is indeed the responsibility of parents, but if done excessively the impact actually hinders their development and risks making them feel inferior.

Giving children the opportunity to choose and explore will increase their self-confidence. This will make the child more able to deal with whatever is going on in their life.

2. Forbidding children to feel emotions

It’s okay if Mother wants to comfort children when they are sad or calm them down when they are angry. However, understand that the way parents react to their child’s emotions has a big impact on the development of emotional intelligence and self-esteem.

Therefore, prohibiting feeling emotions is also one of the parenting styles that causes children to be insecure, Mother. Instead of prohibiting it, train children to identify what triggers these emotional outbursts and teach them how to control them.

Controlled mental and emotional are one of the important foundations for children’s social relationships in the future.

3. Do not accept errors

In the learning process, it is natural for children to occasionally make mistakes. But unfortunately, some parents don’t want to accept any blame and even get angry about it.

Be careful, this situation can make children worry and don’t want to make mistakes again in the future. The effect is that children are not confident to be able to start something new.

It should be understood that so that children are not inferior, parents should reconsider the importance of providing support even when children make mistakes. Reprimand if necessary and give guidance again.

Child illustration/Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto/globalmoments

4. Demanding expectations are too high

Giving goals is indeed important for children, but if the expectations demanded are too high or excessive this can actually make children give up before even starting.

For example, children are asked to always get a score of 100 during tests at school. If the value is less than that then there is a severe penalty without tolerance.

Such a situation is not only vulnerable to making children feel pressured, but also insecure and insecure about their own abilities from the start.

5. Lack of appreciation

Appreciation is very important given by parents to build children’s self-confidence. If the efforts they make are always ignored, the child is at risk of becoming insecure and does not want to try things that interest him again.

No need for excessive praise or fancy items, Mother can show appreciation by saying thank you for the child’s efforts to achieve something.

How to deal with an insecure child

Then if the child is already insecure and not confident in his abilities, what efforts can parents make?

Psychologist Carl Pickhardt says that a child who lacks confidence will be reluctant to try new or challenging things for fear of failing or letting others down.

“The enemy of self-confidence is hopelessness and fear. So parents can encourage and support their children, especially when they are trying to handle difficult tasks,” said Pickhardt, as quoted by The Independent.

Here are some ways that mothers and fathers can do to deal with insecure children, as reported by various sources:

1. Appreciate the child’s efforts

It doesn’t matter whether the child wins or loses, don’t forget to give appreciation for their hard work. That way, at the next opportunity the child will be able to get back up and try to do even better.

2. Give support for children’s interests

Every child certainly has their own hobbies or interests in certain fields. Providing support for positive interests can also be a way to deal with insecure children. For example, you can accompany your child when he is happy to paint.

3. Let children solve their own problems

If parents always restrain their children and prevent them from trying for themselves, then they will never develop the ability and confidence to solve problems.

“Too much help from parents can prevent the development of self-confidence in children,” added Pickhardt.

Thus a review of parenting styles that cause insecure children and how to overcome them. Let’s start training children’s self-confidence by giving them support, Mother.

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